A Letter to You

To: The One Who Will Never Admit They’re the Problem

I want you to know that I do not need you.

I am my own, wonderfully created person.  I am entitled to my opinions and my emotions.  I am entitled to have my own style.  You may not believe that I am as beautiful as you, as talented as you, as loved as you, or as good of a Christian as you.  BUT I AM.

I know you will never believe that you have done anything wrong – but you have.  I have experienced your viciousness over the past 5 years.  You have done everything in your power to tear me apart physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  But that was your intent all along, wasn’t it?  For far too long, I believed I was fat, ugly, stupid, and a sinner.  I believed my home wasn’t clean enough, my clothes weren’t fashionable enough, my kids weren’t happy enough, and I wasn’t worth having friends.  

Until I realized, YOU AND THE DEVIL were the only ones speaking these lies to me.  I will no longer allow myself to be set on fire in order for you to feel warm inside.

For a long time, I believed you would change.  I believed things would be different – that you would see the light and begin to treat me with dignity.  That you would realize that life didn’t revolve around you.  That people aren’t in your life to serve you and your purposes.  That you would stop damaging your family to maintain your image and get what you want.  

I believed that if I was genuinely nice to you that God’s love would penetrate your heart so deeply that you would realize where you were wrong.  I believed that if I served you and helped you, that your soul would feel blessed and you would realize that I’m not against you.  … But instead, you were rude, manipulative, and you used me.

You will not like the boundaries I put up.  You will say I’m “mean” to you.  You will continue to slander me to those around you.  You will continue to tear me down in order to build yourself up.  You will not get your way.  I will not defend you any longer.

I WILL however, continue to pray for you because I know I’m not your only victim.  I will continue to pray for the people you have also trampled on.  I will continue to pray for my emotional health, my self-worth, and my Savior to heal the wounds you carved into my heart.

It is finished.

Emotional abuse is real.  Narcissistic people will take no responsibility for any wrong doing.  They will blame you, but it is not your fault.  This letter was an attempt for an emotional release to someone that is doing extensive emotional damage to a lot of people very near & dear to my heart.  It was also written for a friend, as a way to be encouraged to stand up and walk away from a toxic relationship she was in.  My husband and I deeply grieve the manipulative and damaging behaviors we witness, and pray that Christ would give you healing and strength if you have been a victim.


photo source: [1]


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